Philosophy vs Biochemistry 😝

I have posted a lot about my current random happenings in my life and I have many so will post about them in time. But thought for today’s post I would go back 19 years and tell you the story of how I met my husband and how our partnership started and flourished!

As you know my name is Mishti and I have a very large extended family especially on my mum’s side. My parents are from Bangladesh, my dad, Akash has been in the UK since the mid 60s whilst my mum, Rehon has been here since I was born, about 40 years!

When we were small visits to Bangledesh were a regular affair as my Grandma was alive and so were my Nan and Grandad. After my Grandma (dad’s mum) passed away our visits became less regular and also I was doing GCSEs so couldn’t miss school and also I started working at Sainsbury’s so couldn’t get too much time off and didn’t really want to. 

The reason for not wanting to was not to do with going to Bangledesh, the long flight or the hot weather it was for a completely other reason!

As I may have mentioned before my mum is one of 11 and I am the oldest cousin on her side. So everything that I was doing had not been done by any immediate family member before! 

My marriage was an arranged one as are most marriages in our culture and religion but saying that 2 out of my 5 uncles have not had arranged marriages and this is also for only 1 auntie out of 6-these types of marriages are referred to as ‘love’ marriages. 

So how arranged marriages work is….well in our family this is the way they work….

When a daughter or son is of marriage age the word is put out to family and friends with the type of partner the parents/child are looking for. The timing of this can vary on parents and whether the child is studying or working. 

In my day (showing my age by using this phrase!)….

**Girls would get married at 19-21 years old

**Boys would get married at 25-28 years old

Whereas nowadays the age has moved forward to…

**Girls 25-30 years old

**Boys 30-35 years old

So when I was in my 3rd year at Uni the word was put out and I knew this as auntie’s would make odd comments when they saw me!?

When we went to Bangladesh over the summer between my 2nd year and final year I knew it was going to be an interesting trip!? Especially as I hadn’t been for about 4 years!

We spent the summer holidays in Bangladesh, so we were there about 8-6 weeks. 

The first month or so was fun, catching up with family, days out lots of nice food and generally a chilled out holiday…

About the 5th week, my mum comes and speaks to me, being more serious than usual..I kind of knew what it was about but acted all innocent as I do in most situations!?

She said ‘as you know we have been looking for a propestive partner for you, me ur dad and grandad (mum’s dad) and we have found someone..’

Then she went on to say..’we’ve met the family and met the groom. The family is very nice, they are 3 brothers and mum. No dad, he passed away a couple of years ago. Dad was a District Judge and so they have travelled all over Bangledesh. The groom is studying law and doing his postgraduate course now. ‘

I was just listening, feeling a bit overwhelmed and sick in my stomach! 

Lastly she said ‘The family is great, the younger brothers are studying and they live in Sylhet town, only thing left is for you to meet with the mum and groom…’

I wasn’t sure what to say so I said ‘ whatever you and dad think is right is fine me, let me know when we are having the meeting..’

In my head I was worried and thoughts were spinning round and round…!

Mum was happy and then left with my grandma and auntie to chill out and chat! I was quiet for ages and just in a daze!
***to be continued***

Don’t tell white lies to a 3 year old cos it can be unlucky!!!

Today’s post is about white lies…these are little untruths you tell people to avoid upsetting them or causing you unnecessary millions of questions! But of course lying is a really bad characteristic in a person and I never tell blatant lies but the odd white lie is allowed!

Anyway let me tell you why ‘telling white lies to a 3 year old is unlucky!’

I was visiting my little nearly 3 year old nephew Isaac the other day. He is a cheeky monkey but very cute 💕

I’d spent the whole day with him and his mum (my sister), Tarra (means Star ⭐️ in Hindi/Bengali). 

It was time for me to leave as had to pick up my own kids from school cos it was a Wednesday. 

Isaac gets very sad and grumpy when people leave, so you have to give a reason for leaving. So I said to him that I was going to buy petrol for my little yellow tiny car! I wasn’t really buying petrol right at that moment but I was going to sometime later that day so thought that’s a good reason to say to a 3 year old.

Little did I know this little white lie would be unlucky for me a couple of days later!!

I saw Isaac and Tarra the next day as we were meeting for lunch and again I spent the day with them and had to go to pick up my kids from school so said the same thing to Isaac about petrol. He was surprised that I had to buy petrol again but I said it’s only a tiny car so uses lot of petrol!

A couple of days….I was coming home from work and the red petrol light came on in my mini and this means I can drive about 30 miles and then need to buy petrol so as I was going to work I thought I would buy petrol on the way home as then I am not in the morning traffic/rush hour and not so on a deadline to get to my destination. 

On my way home from work, it was unusually busy and I was crawling along the M25 and thinking I need to get to services to fill up…come on people move!

I was about 0.4 miles away from services and thought Yay I’m gonna just make it!

Little did I know that the 2 little white lies I had told my little nephew Isaac would come back to haunt me!

I have run out of petrol quite a few times in my 20 plus years of driving so can tell when my car is about to die!

I was in the fast lane on the M25 moving into the slow lane to come off at services and I realised I wasn’t going to make it! So I indicated and stopped on the hard shoulder. Put my hazard lights on and tried the car but no luck 😦

From past experience of getting stranded on the A3 between Guildford and home and cos of the job I do where I travel all around Surrey I have AA silver membership and have done for many years. 

So I got out my phone and AA silver membership card and made the call….

I was in the car in the passenger side so as to not get swept by the very fast moving cars on the M25!

The AA lady was very helpful and asked me the usual questions about what had happened and where I was. When she found out I was on the hard shoulder on the M25 she said this is a priority call I will send someone straight away. 

She asked me to not be in the car but be outside a safe distance from the vehicle and keep the hazard lights on. 

So I went outside and climbed over the barriers and stood shivering in the cold on the grassy side of the M25 heading towards Cobham services!

I had time to kill-the AA man would be at least 30 minutes! So I called favourite cousin Klaire and chatted to her for a while. I didnt tell her that I had broken down for a short while but then I did and she (being a Middle Child Syndrome sufferer) couldn’t help but crack up!

I was feeling cold so went into my car to be rescued a short while later by a fabulous AA man who said as he saw me “oh, you were so close!”

He filled up my car with a petrol can of petrol and then accompanied me to services to further fill up. 

He was a very nice man, a very nice AA man!

I then went on my way home and carried on with my day. 

***more on this tale later!**

Thanks

Amina aka Mishti 💕

The adopted one….Klaire 😉

So let me tell you all about my cousin Klaire who is one of 3 and in the middle of her older sister Priya and younger brother Danyal. So as she is in the middle she of course suffers from what is called ‘Middle-child Syndrome’!

If you are not familiar with this syndrome let me tell you more…..

Middle child syndrome (MDS) refers to the middle child of a family.  If you notice any of your family or friends who are middle children they are slightly odd and have interesting character traits..I know this from personal experience of being the oldest in my family and having a sister who is a middle child and also a daughter who is the same!

MDS children are generally the princess or prince of the family. The apple of the parents eye and generally Daddy’s little princess or little champ!  They are also quite intellectual but also a bit dozy and a few other characteristics which I will mention on this & later posts as they come up…..will depict with MDS in brackets.

Back to my cousin Klaire….the adopted one….

Klaire doesn’t look like any of her siblings or her parents, she looks more like her Auntie Sarah on her dad’s side (dad’s older sister).

So the current joke or story is that Klaire is adopted and her real mum is actually her auntie who she has been callling auntie all these years! Auntie Sarah has 3 children, all older and finished university and working/travelling.  Klaire is 12 and so would be the younger of her older siblings and so no longer be in the middle and so wouldn’t suffer from MDS!
Auntie Sarah gave Klaire to her brother’s wife cos she wasn’t ready to be a mum to a newborn again as her kids were now at high school and she had just got her life back!

Klaire’s adoptive mum and dad (Auntie Sarah’s brother and his wife) had a 5 year old daughter and were happy to take in Klaire and have treated her like another daughter.  A couple of years later, Danyal was born and they were now a happy family of three children.

We are all making this a running joke/theme when talking to Klaire and it is driving her up the wall!

The fun and games of big extended families!

I am the oldest of all my cousins on my mums side as she is one of 11 and she is the oldest too! I have uncles who are younger than me and a lot of my cousins are my children’s age.  But it makes life fun and there are many stories, which I will post from time to time!

Till next time…

Amina aka Mishti 🙂